Turning of the Page

Thursday, December 29, 2011

How Can I Change What Has Been?

Time has come and gone and those things that have happened can not be undone, can not be changed, can not be taken back. No matter how much regret a person has about things said and things done that regret does not change the past.
I am unable to make the pain and hurt go away if you want to hold onto it and dwell on it and keep it close to you. I am unable to make you let go of the past and grasp at the future if the past is what you want to live in.
I can only do so much. I can only try so hard. I can only be the better me that I am trying to be and hope that it is enough for you to love.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Wonder Why?

You wonder why?
Why do I get worked up over it?
Why do I let it get to me?
Why does it matter if I trust you?

You wonder why?
Why do I continually bring up the same thing over and over?
Why do I take it personal?
Why does it cause jealousy?

You wonder why?
Why am I still here?
Why don't I go if it bothers me so much?
Why try if I don't seem to trust?

You wonder why?
I'll tell you why.
I get worked up over it being kept as a 'secret'.
I let it get to me because I want you to be mine again.
It matters because I am still working on trust with you.
I continually bring the same thing up over and over because it continually happens over and over.
I take it personally because I feel you are intentionally sabotaging us.
It causes jealousy because  I love you and feel that you are choosing this 'friendship' over our relationship.
I am still here because I know that I have hurt you in the past and that I came to realize what I was doing to you and that maybe you will come to realize what you are doing to me someday too.
I don't go even though it bothers me because that would mean that I am giving up on us and I am not willing to give up on us.
I keep trying because I want to trust completely again and to know that we are one again.

You wonder why?
I will tell you why.
You are a part of me and will always be a part of me.
You make me feel amazing in ways that no other will ever be able to do.
You are worth the wait.