Born to a mother that had already given birth to seven other children and had not intended on adding an eighth. My early childhood was spent living by the river, living in a rural area of Ohio (is there any area of Ohio that is not rural?), and being the product of a "broken home".
How many eight year olds get to experience driving across country in a station wagon with two older sisters, a cousin's girlfriend, the family dog, a mother, and all that your family owned? I know of one such eight year old. My mother drove us from Ohio to Oklahoma, through the Painted Desert and Petrified Forest, through the Red Woods, into Reno, and on to Oregon; our final destination.
A single mom with three daughters in a small town in Oregon that had a surprising amount of Ohio transplants. And these were not just any Ohio transplants; these were people my mother had known that were either family, friends of family, or people that were family of friends.
At fourteen I experienced sex for the first time. I experienced being with child. At fourteen I gave birth to the first of three sons. There is more to this story and a story I will share, however, here it is only a history lesson and that lesson is an outline of my history.
Graduation from high school with a diploma and a three year old son was an accomplishment or so I have been told. With the help and support of my mother and other relatives I was able to stay in school, get decent grades, and be social enough to not feel that I was an outcast for having had my son. He was a part of my class, he was a part of my extra curricular activities, and he was adored by all who had the opportunity to be around him.
A week after turning eighteen I became involved with the man I would spend the next twenty plus years with, have two sons with, and be dependent on in ways that were not always healthy.
So much bouncing around from one small community to another, raising the boys into young men, becoming a Yaya (aka grandmother), and finding my way to college for the first time made for a life that seemed to be anything but my own.
This history lesson of me is an outline on a time line of my life. There are so many threads that are woven together, twisted and inner twined, that create the tapestry that has been my life. As this blog grows and progresses there will be elaborations on events of the past, situations of the present, and the dreams for the future.
I look forward to what's to come. I remember those days when you were 14.... I think I was 12. What memories. In some ways it seems like so long ago, and other ways, like yesterday.
ReplyDeleteLove you friend.
Since you brought it up, I'll give an account of that time in my life, that time that I moved from Maiden to Mother. Life changed from being able to be a teenage girl that's only worries were school and boys and weather her mother would let her go places with her friends.
ReplyDeleteI had spent a lot of time babysitting for friends and family since the age of eleven. It was a good way to make a few bucks so that I could buy clothes and other things I wanted that my mom was not able to or willing to get for me. She did what she could and always did her best to make sure that we had what we needed.
I had become interested in boys between my seventh and eighth grade year. One in particular was the man I ended up marrying. He was almost my first.
My birthday was in August, my first time having sex was in September, and in June I gave birth to my first son. Two months later I turned fifteen. A month later I started my Sophomore year of high school.
I was five months along before I knew that I was pregnant. There were reasons that I thought could be the reason for not having my monthly. I was a Varsity Cheerleader my Freshman year, I was on J.V. Girl's Basketball, and I was not always eating as I should have been. I had heard how if a girl was active and didn't eat well that she might miss her monthly. I had all those reasons and the other one was that if I were pregnant my mom would know because she was the one that bought my personals for me.
My oldest brother was the one who had heard about there being two girls up at the high school that were pregnant and my name came up. He confronted me, then he came to the house and told mom, and within a week I went to the doctor and it was confirmed that I was about five months along.
When my mom heard the news she asked me, "what are your plans?"
"I don't believe in murder so I guess I am having the baby. And if I am going to pack a baby around inside me for nine months I am not giving it away to someone else."
"Good. What about school?"
I told her, "I would like to keep going to school."
"Good. We will figure that out."
She was a great support for me. She was amazing. My mother had been a young mom, having had her first child at fifteen, and she had not finished her high school education until she was in her early forties when she got her GED.
I stayed in school. I graduated with my class. I was able to attend sports events with my son and go to all the high school dances. All I had to do was ask her and she would watch him for me. She wanted me to be able to be a teenage girl as much as she wanted me to remember my responsibilities as a parent.
Having my first child was an event to remember. The doctor that I had for an OB/GYN had a great bedside manner during the regular office visits. He had me estimated at a due date of May 25th which was different than what I had estimated (June 3rd). I never had morning sickness, very little discomfort, and I had no idea what to expect for labor pains.
ReplyDeleteOn June 9th I went into the hospital to have labor induced. After twelve hours of labor, being on a Demerol drip, and having the baby's heart beat drop the doctor suggested that we have an emergency c-section. I had my son at 7:29pm on June 9th, he weighed 8#6oz. I was exhausted.
I had the support of my mom, two of my sisters, a brother, and a sister-in-law as well as the kind nurses. It took four days for me to get released from the hospital.
The day I got out was the day that I had the Baby Shower at my Uncle and Aunt's house. Family and friends gathered to see him, to give gifts, and to show their support for me. I appreciate all that they did to help me have all the things I needed to start taking care of the new life I had brought into the world.