Mother's Day Free Write

Today. Mother's Day. Mother's Day? Why just a day? It is an every day thing to be a mother when your children are living at home. It is an every day thing to care for them, keep them on task, and do what you can to ready them for the world that they will some day have to face alone, on their own, when you are no longer their for them to lean on.
Today was Mother's Day. My grands called me in the morning. My eldest soon after. I text my middle one and later in the day he text back. The youngest called and left a message. It was just another day, a day like all other days, and I know that tomorrow will be another day and that my boys love me and will always love me.
I don't want a day of the year to be recognized as a mother. I want every single day to be a day that my sons and grandsons know that I am here and I will be here for as long as this world allows me to be and that they too are loved.
Being a mother has changed over the years. I have had to stand back and watch and see what will happen, how the boys will handle their lives, and know that it was now my job to be available when they asked without interfering above and beyond what was asked of me. This change was not over night and I am still working on being able to stand back. I try. I want to give them the opportunity to live their lives as they see fit and support them in their endeavors as much as possible.
I cry because today is a day that has so much emphasis on Mother. I miss my mother, my mom, my mommy. It is difficult sometimes to know that she is gone and that when I am going through such ordeals as I am now that I do not have her to talk with, to get advice from, or to just have her give me a hug. She is not a phone call away. She is a conversation that I get to carry on with the air around me and gather the energy that it brings and allow my mind to form the words of wisdom that she might be kind enough to proffer to me.