May the Day 14 are We to Be "A Year and a Day"

There it was that moment. That time that I had held in my minds eye as being something somewhere special with another round about my finger.
It was different. Not so different. More personal. It meant the world and all it was was more real than a moment is expected to be.
The tears they fell. Unstoppable soft sobs of over flowing gratitude and joy and love and hope for what may become of us. The arms they held so tight, not wanting to let go.
There was that underlying fear that it was a dream and not going to be real in the morning.
Then the understanding blanketed over me and covered me with the warmth of the forever that we still have and how that forever is our own once again.

Accentuation

Out of words
Outwards
What words would hold the wards to the out?
The way in is round about
Go through the fence
Theatrically fencing
Fending past the past
Turning the corner
Trudging up hill
Climbing rock walls
Each hand hold a hand to hold
Each foot hold a firm foundation
Each step an accentuation
Find the way up
Out of the quagmire of what once was
Inward and upward
Outwards
Out of words

The mind; it plays tricks on the heart. 
The heart; it teases the soul.
The soul; it clings to the familiar.
The familiar; it is ever changing.


As if there were a thing to do that would make the world right, I sit and think and plan and play memories, like movies, in my mind. Each reel has many frames and each frame is left to individual interpretation. The problem that arises from individual interpretation is that no two individuals interpret a frame the same way. Personal feelings, thoughts, and preformed notions smudge the frames; when the reel is replayed the scenes are different, the words are different, and the concepts and ideas that are held are different. 
One can try to explain their perception of the movie, how it affects them, and why they interpret it a certain way; in the end, there is only the heart that holds the key to where the mind takes the soul and what changes occur from one frame to the next. The ever changing scenes are pieced together frame by frame by the heart and the desires of the heart and as a result the mind is forced to interpret the frames a specific way and that in turn tangles the soul with threads from here and there and everywhere as the familiar fades to fantasy and reality is woven into what dreams of truth each individual holds.
What happens when you wake from your dream? 

How Can I Change What Has Been?

Time has come and gone and those things that have happened can not be undone, can not be changed, can not be taken back. No matter how much regret a person has about things said and things done that regret does not change the past.
I am unable to make the pain and hurt go away if you want to hold onto it and dwell on it and keep it close to you. I am unable to make you let go of the past and grasp at the future if the past is what you want to live in.
I can only do so much. I can only try so hard. I can only be the better me that I am trying to be and hope that it is enough for you to love.

Wonder Why?

You wonder why?
Why do I get worked up over it?
Why do I let it get to me?
Why does it matter if I trust you?

You wonder why?
Why do I continually bring up the same thing over and over?
Why do I take it personal?
Why does it cause jealousy?

You wonder why?
Why am I still here?
Why don't I go if it bothers me so much?
Why try if I don't seem to trust?

You wonder why?
I'll tell you why.
I get worked up over it being kept as a 'secret'.
I let it get to me because I want you to be mine again.
It matters because I am still working on trust with you.
I continually bring the same thing up over and over because it continually happens over and over.
I take it personally because I feel you are intentionally sabotaging us.
It causes jealousy because  I love you and feel that you are choosing this 'friendship' over our relationship.
I am still here because I know that I have hurt you in the past and that I came to realize what I was doing to you and that maybe you will come to realize what you are doing to me someday too.
I don't go even though it bothers me because that would mean that I am giving up on us and I am not willing to give up on us.
I keep trying because I want to trust completely again and to know that we are one again.

You wonder why?
I will tell you why.
You are a part of me and will always be a part of me.
You make me feel amazing in ways that no other will ever be able to do.
You are worth the wait.

 

Shell Game

Time: late evening

Scene: The stage is divided into two rooms. The smaller of the two rooms has a window covered by thick black curtains, a floor lamp, a woman tied to a chair with duct tape over her mouth, shot gun shells on the floor, and a door that leads to a larger room. In the larger room there are boxes stacked in the corner, a large piece of black plastic laid out on the floor, a shot gun resting against the wall next to the smaller room, and a door over by where the boxes are.

ACT I

SCENE 1

(At Rise we see the scene opens with Christine on her hands and knees picking up shot gun shells and putting back into the box. The floor lamp is bright and aimed at ‘the other woman’ who is tied to the chair with duct tape across her mouth.)

‘THE OTHER WOMAN’

(She tries to speak through the tape)

Please. Let me go. Let me go.

(Frustrated she tries to scream for help)

CHRISTINE

I gave him back the shot gun once. I thought that it would make him realize how much I wanted to make him happy, but no…

(Looking up at the woman)

He didn’t get it, did he?

(Making sounds of frustration)

He insisted on setting the rules…telling me what I could and couldn’t do…oh he had me muzzled and bound when it came to you.

(Christine lets out a little laugh and picks up the last of the shells)

‘WOMAN’

(Rocks and squirms and makes lots of noise and keeps trying to scream and beg to be let go…continues even while Christine speaks)

CHRISTINE

I loved him. I love him. I know I was bad before. I know I did things that were mean and cruel and that I hurt him. I told him I was wrong…wrong…wrong…I said it…I told him…he knows…I know he knows how I feel…that I’m sorry…he is my husband…not yours…not yours…never yours…you should have backed off…left him alone…you should have disappeared like before...

(Glares at her in such a way she stops all her noise and her eyes get wide with fear)

I wanted to disappear…I wanted to be made dead…when he told me he couldn’t do it anymore…he threw me over the edge…he is mine…not yours.

(her cell phone rings in her pocket…ring tone is ‘Wild Thing’…she lets it keep ringing through ‘Wild Thing, You make my heart sing…Wild Thing, You make everything groovy’…she steps into the larger room and answers her phone…While Christine is out of the room the woman is searching for a way to get free)

Hello…you take a right on Davis Way…yes…a right, that’s what I said…a right on Davis Way, drive for a quarter mile and turn left at the stop sign…at the stop sign…then follow the road around and you’ll see a big building on the left…yes, on the left…no a right on Davis Way, left at the stop sign and the building is on the left…I need you to get here…yes it’s important

(Her eyes keep looking over to where the boxes are stacked in the corner)

no…no…just get here…it’s a surprise…a time sensitive surprise…okay…yes…I know…I heard you…just get here…where are you now?...okay…I’ll see you in a couple minutes…thanks…I lo…

(Holds the phone away and sees that he has already hung up…puts it back in her pocket…goes back into the other room)

‘WOMAN’

(Watches Christine and is quiet…her mind is working to figure out what she is going to do to get loose)

CHRISTINE

(Holds the box of shells, her fingers running over them as she walks around the woman, there are a few shells missing… Christine speaks in a calm peaceful voice)

If he only realized how much I love him, how much I need him…he wouldn’t keep putting me through all of this…he would respect me…he would want to make me happy…he would know that he is my world…that without him I am nothing…nothing…I don’t exist…you wouldn’t understand what we have…you couldn’t understand…you have lied to him too…you let him believe things that couldn’t be true…that you know weren’t true…but it gave you a leg up on me didn’t it…well, not anymore…you are going to disappear…not me…you…

(Looking out the window without moving the curtain too much…smiling)

I know what I need to do…I know what he needs to do…and I know what is going to happen to you…he’s going to…

(Cell phone rings…lets it go through the tune again before answering)

Hello…oh…right…be right there…forgot I locked it…

(walks out of the room, turns back around and holds up her finger to suggest to the woman to stay quiet, then closes the door behind her)…(unlocks the door and lets her husband in)

Glad you could make it Jack…was a little worried you’d get lost.

JACK

(He looks around the room and takes it all in trying to figure out what the surprise could be)

You made it seem important Christine…what is so god damn important that I had to drive out in the middle of bum-fuck-Egypt at this hour?

CHRISTINE

(Fiddling with the box of shells in her hand)

I told you…it’s a surprise…

(Noises are heard from the other room)

JACK

What have you done Christine?

CHRISTINE

(Walks over and picks up the shot gun and loads it)

I have been doing what I needed to do…I have been setting things up so we can be happy again…I love you and I did all this for you…to show you how much you mean to me…to show you how much…

JACK

Christ sake Christine...you lost your mind? What the hell is going on?

CHRISTINE

There’s only one thing left to do…just one more thing…then we will be able to get our happy back.

(Christine opens the door and Jack sees the other woman…he pulls Christine back out of the room and shuts the door on the woman…her protests are louder…she saw the shot gun)

JACK

Really Christine?...Really? Really?...What were you thinking?

(Hands in the air)

You weren’t were you? There is no way you are going to get away with this. No way…not a chance in hell…someone is going to find out…you’ll go to jail…

(Grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her)

 Is that what you want? You want to go to jail?

CHRISTINE

(pulls away, still holding the shot gun, and walks over to the corner by the boxes and stairs at the corner)…(in the other room the woman is working on moving her chair closer to the window…during the time Jack and Christine are out of the room she is going to move the chair to the window…bang her head trying to break the window…move the chair back to the floor lamp…use the light bulb to burn through her ropes…and make her way back to the window)

I did this for you! For you, Jack! I love you…I love us together… and that woman…she makes it impossible for us to move forward…she distracts you…she needs to go Jack...she needs to disappear…

JACK

Disappear?...You’re crazy…You’re out of your fucking mind Christine…she isn’t disappearing…she isn’t going anywhere…you need to stop this…right Now!...right the fuck now…

CHRISTINE

I can’t…I won’t…and you know it…you know we need this…it’s perfect…no one will ever know…no one will…

JACK

Someone will find out…you can’t get rid of someone and not have someone notice for Christ sake…she has family…she has friends…I would know and I …

CHRISTINE

You would what Jack? What?

(pause)

You would tell on me?...You would send me to jail?

(pause)

Really?...Really? Really?...You think they will believe…

JACK

They?...The cops?...Oh they will believe…the evidence will tell them all they need to know…you will be convicted…and you will go to jail Christine…JAIL…do you understand what I am saying…JAIL!..

CHRISTINE

I am not stupid Jack…I understand… I just…

JACK

Just what?...Just…

CHRISTINE

Just think you underestimate me…you always have…for some reason you don’t seem to think that I am capable of this sort of thing…of being able to “get away with it”…you’re mistaken Jack…mistaken…

JACK

The only thing I am mistaken about is listening to you and coming here…you’re mistaken if you think I am going to help you…

(He heads for the door…Christine grabs his arm and stops him)

CHRISTINE

Wait…I have something I want to show you…stay right there…don’t move…just wait…okay…

(Jack nods in concession)

(Christine goes to the corner behind the boxes, sets the shot gun against the wall, and grabs hold of something and begins to drag it out into the middle of the room…next to the other black plastic…she tugs and pulls, struggling and Jack stands there watching)

I…I…did this for you…I knew you would appreciate it…

(Drops the end with a thud and smiles and uses her hands like Vanna White to display what she has brought to him)

JACK

(walks around it…gives it a nudge with his foot…kneels down…looking up at her…then tearing the tape loose at one end and pulling back the plastic he sees shoes)

Christine?...Christine, what have you done?...Who is…

CHRISTINE

I told you I did what needed to be done…you know who it is…it’s my gift to you…you will never have to worry again…there is nothing to worry about…see…

(She kneels down and tears the tape from the other end and pulls back the plastic to expose a man’s face)

Jack…Jack…you like my gift, don’t you?...

JACK

(trying to gain his composure…in shock…)

You realize what you have done here?...You killed him…he’s dead, Christine…dead…Dead!...

CHRISTINE

(Shaking her head and smiling)

Of course he’s dead…he was shot with that shot gun Jack…

(She gets up and walks back over to the shot gun and picks it up and walks back over to Jack)

Your shot gun killed him…

(Jack stands and stumbles. Christine helps him steady himself)

No one saw…no one knows…just you and me Jack…

(She looks over at the door to the other room)

And her…she knows…she has to go Jack…you know I’m right…it’s the only way…it’s…

JACK

It’s what needs to be done?

CHRISTINE

That’s right…you understand…I knew you’d understand Jack

(Goes to Jack and gives him a hug and a kiss that is not returned)

JACK

What now?

CHRISTINE

(Smiles and nods knowingly…then aims the shot gun at Jack)

You know…I have a plan…you don’t have to worry…I have it all worked out…

JACK

(He looks down at the body on the floor for a moment, then up at Christine, then at the door to the other room…his face softens…he walks over to her and kisses her forehead tenderly)

 I love you Christine…I have always loved you…

(He puts his hands on the shot gun and tries to pull it from her grip…she tugs it away from his grip)

CHRISTINE

When the time is right, Jack…when the time is right…

(He nods and they both smile…there is a scream from the other room…then another scream)

‘WOMAN’

(Sobbing on her knees in front of the window that isn’t really a window…it’s been bricked over)

No…no…no…please…no…help me…please…

JACK

(Christine stands by the door very sure of herself and what she has planned and Jack can see her confidence…he walks over to the woman and helps her stand…she leans on Jack for support…they walk past Christine and out of the room…Jack stops in the middle of the black plastic on the floor and has the woman sit down)

Stay here…I’ll be right back…I have to take care of something…

(She clings to him and he peels her off of him)

It will all be over soon…

(smiling as she looks at the brick window, the fallen lamp, and the ropes on the floor…Jack holds out his hand to her and she takes it…they walk back to the other room and stop at the edge of the black plastic…Jack holds out his hand for the shot gun and Christine hands it to him…he checks to see if it is loaded, lifts the gun to his shoulder and prepares to fire…aiming it at the other woman)

‘WOMAN’

(looks up at Jack in shock…he pulls the trigger and the gun goes off, the building goes black…we hear canisters hitting the floor and we see a bright flash and hear a loud bang…in the flash we see the woman dead…Christine on her knees next to Jack holding her ears and her eyes closed tight…Jack standing with the shot gun confused)

SWAT TEAM 1, 2, and 3

(Enter the building with guns ready and tackle Jack to the ground and “protect” Christine from Jack…)

SWAT TEAM 1

You are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent, whatever you say can and will be held against you, you have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand your rights?...Sir?...Do you understand your rights?...

JACK

(Hands cuffed being pushed towards the door he tries to turn back to Christine…she is leaning on an officer crying…)

 Christine…tell them…tell them Christine…for Christ sake tell them the truth…

(The officers drag Jack from the room and out of sight)

CHRISTINE

(Takes one last look at the scene and smiles…the officer wraps his arm around her shoulder and assists her towards the door…away from the crime scene)

Why?...why would he do this?...I thought he loved me…I loved him…

(Lights down)

I Will Write

I will write and I will write and I will write more.
I will write how I feel.
I will write what I want.
I will write what I need.
I will write and I will write and I will write more.
I will write until what I have written is clear and precise and there is no doubt what is meant by my words,
no way to take it differently,
to twist it into something it is not;
the message will be straight forward with no 'beating around the bush' involved.